7 ways you're the jerk in your love life

By Marni Dixit March 14, 2016
Love fern How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days

Is your love life either super crazy or totally boring? Yes, it could be them, but maybe there are things that you're doing that are sabotaging your chances of being happy? If you're being honest chances are you might be doing one or more of these things...

Maybe you've been burned in the past, so now you don't give yourself a chance in hell at happiness, but if you know what you're doing you can work towards fixing it!

It might surprise you to know how many people sabotage their own relationships, especially the ones that might have the potential to actually make you happy.

If you do any of the below, it might be time to take a step back and evaluate if the real problem might be you.

1. You don't let people in

Let people in

If you want a relationship you have to actually allow yourself to let go and let that person get past the barriers you've put up. Some people have real talent for keeping a distance from people, but if you don't let your partner in it's only a matter of time before things go bad.

2. You don't trust your partner


You might have been burned in the past, but that has nothing to do with your current partner. You can't just distrust them because other people have done things to lose your trust. At least give them a chance to surprise you!

3. You have low self-esteem

Low self-esteem Demi Lovato

A lot of us don't feel worthy of love and have low self-esteem, this sometimes causes us to not be treated properly as we don't expect to get what we actually deserve - i.e. to be treated like the amazing superstars we are! That's why it's always important for you to work on yourself, even if you're not looking for a relationship.

4. Your expectations aren't realistic

Lower your expectations

Expecting someone to be your knight in shining armour? Expecting a big, surprising, romantic gesture for your birthday? This is totally unfair to your partner and totally not their fault if they don't follow through. Sometimes our own unrealistic expectations get in our way because we expect so much from someone who has literally no clue what you're thinking! Also, imagine if that person expected the same of you, you probably wouldn't be willing to stay with them, would you?

5. You don't communicate


If there's something on your mind, talk about it! Not communicating with your partner is a sure fire way to sabotage your relationship and it's such an easy thing to fix, plus if it's really hard to just talk to them maybe you shouldn't be together!

6. You avoid conflict

Avoiding confrontation

You're going to fight with your partner every so often. Just because you might have a little argument with them, doesn't necessarily mean you'll split up. So don't be afraid to talk through the little conflicts, because that way you'll actually learn, grow, and make things better! And if you need to see a therapist to learn how to handle conflict there's nothing wrong with that either!

7. You overthink everything!


Are you constantly wondering what your partner is doing when you're not with them? Do you over-analyse every single text message you get from your lover trying to find out the hidden meaning? Guess what, there probably isn't one. Overthinking is a coping mechanism used to avoid your real feelings so it might be better to focus on yourself rather than thinking horrible thoughts about them!