kids

Feeling clucky? 5 questions to ask yourself before you start a family

By Kara Byers March 14, 2016
Channing Tatum and wife Jenna withe their baby

No wonder having children can be such a daunting issue for many couples. As an irreversible decision, it’s definitely not something to be taken lightly. Here are five of the most important things to consider before you get started…

No wonder having children can be such a daunting issue for many couples. As an irreversible decision, it’s definitely not something to be taken lightly. Here are five of the most important things to consider before you get started…  

1. Are you really ready? 

Be brutally honest here - do you actually want to start a family or do you just feel like you should?  

Starting a family is one of the most life-changing decisions you'll ever make, and it deserves to be taken very seriously. Do you genuinely feel ready because you and your partner/husband/significant other have readied yourself —individually and as partners—to be everything your child will need? Or are you subscribing to a timeline created by your family, friends or society?  

Try listing the pros and cons and balance any pressures you may feel with the practical points you need to consider.

RELATED: 10 things that happen when you get pregnant 

2. How are you going to get pregnant? 

Obviously you know all about ‘the birds and the bees’ so really this question is all about which school of thought you’ll subscribe to. Will you be all “let’s see what happens” or are you going to be all about apps, timing, temperatures and accurately timed sessions? 

Before you do get busy, it’s best to discuss and come to an agreement with your partner on your ‘method’ so you’re in sync. Also, be prepared for it to take some time to happen, and don't worry if it takes longer than you'd hoped, you’ll get there, just keep having fun.

RELATED: Check out this stunning of a omwan wit a 1 in 60 million pregnancy

3. Is life just too good to change? 

Can you really deal with putting your independent self on the shelf? Motherhood is the most selfless job you’re ever going to have and one that definitely needs serious mental preparation. If the thought of giving up nights out with mates, time in the gym, one-on-one time with your partner and your own ‘me’ time brings you out in hives, then it might be worth seriously considering if you’re ready for a baby right now. Perhaps you still have a few life goals, travel destinations, or adventurous things you want to tackle over the next few months before you get pregnant. If so, put down the folic acid and get on with doing your thing. 

4. Are your finances in good shape? 

We all know that nappies, formula and nursery furniture are expensive but have you really taken into account the other expenses you’ll incur? Like is your house big enough for you guys AND new additions or will you need to move? Also, will you need to pay for childcare or will one of you stay home to look after junior?  

It’s probably a good time to redo your budget and prep yourself for the sacrifices you’ll need to make when it’s no longer just the two of you, like holidays, expensive clothes, and treats. Discussing your ‘family budget’ and how you’ll be spending your money before and after baby is a good thing to do now.

RELATED: All pregnant women are being advised to do this

5. Are you hoping kids will ‘fix’ your relationship? 

If the answer to this is ‘yes’ then – STOP! – ain’t no way a crying newborn or a tearaway toddler is going to aid an ailing relationship. The sleep deprivation alone that having a baby brings is enough to crack most people. 

Ask yourselves if you're ready to commit to perhaps 20 years together as parents and if you can handle sharing midnight feedings, laundry, late-night store runs, and overall household tasks that are going to seem to triple once you’ve got a baby. Oh, and also consider talking through the realities of dirty nappies and sharing the changing of them. Reality is, they will be plentiful and always unpleasant.