I used Seinfeld quotes to chat to guys on Bumble and it really didn’t go well

By Stephanie Nuzzo April 11, 2017

I think it’s safe to say that George, Elaine, Jerry and Kramer had no game

Well, hello. It’s me again! Your friendly neighbourhood dating app prankster. 

Last time I took to the world of online dating I approached young bachelors with the very best opening lines from ‘90s sitcom Friends

It didn’t work out for anyone involved, so naturally I thought I’d give quotes from Seinfeld a whirl. 

The result? Well, let’s just say if I’m Elaine in this experiment, the dudes of Bumble are the Soup Nazi. 

Here are the nine most notable things that happened when I took to Bumble using ONLY word-for-word quotes from Seinfeld:

1. This one dude felt I needed to be “dumbed down”:

Just what every modern woman wants to hear in the search for love. I’m assuming one of the words he had to Google was Festivus, but the others? I’m truly unsure. 

2. Some fellas, like this guy, really didn’t enjoy our banter: 

Shocking, really. I thought we were having a great time! He probably reported me after this – being “quiet” old for games and all.

3. I got some really seriously thought-out answers to my questions:

Sure, the maths was slightly off, but I think this has to be my favourite exchange of them all. 

4. A couple of guys saw straight through my hoax: 

Also, how good is cinnamon? 

5. I think I’m in love with this man after his reply:

Any man who understands the importance of always having pie on hand is a keeper in my eyes.

6. This guy clearly isn’t the supportive type:

Definitely not sponge-worthy…

7. There were those who looked at what I had to say and obviously thought: “NOPE” 

Too much, too soon?

8. Some didn’t find my jokes funny: 

Probably one of those need-to-have-been-there or watched-the-series type situations… 

9. Others just couldn't relate to that dark Seinfeld view of the world and dating: 

To quote Elaine: “I will never understand people.”

Until next time! 

Head image: NBC